| A cattle buyer
met an untimely demise. At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter was reviewing
the cattle buyer’s file.
St. Peter said,
“Your file indicates you claim to be a Christian… What can you tell me
about the life of Jesus?
Swallowing hard,
the cattle buyer responded, "Well, St. Peter, about 2000 years ago, Jesus
was born unto the Virgin Mary in a manger. When he grew up, he preached
the word of God unto thousands of people. He was then crucified for our
sins. They put his body in a tomb. The next day he came out and saw
his shadow." |
A crusty-looking
older gentleman entered the cattle buyer's office, walked up to the receptionist's
desk and said…
"I need to
talk to the damned cattle buyer."
The astonished
woman replied, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you.
What did you say?"
"Listen up,
dammit. I said I want to talk to the damned cattle buyer... Now,"
snarled the man.
Indignant, the
receptionist responded, "I'm very sorry sir, but I won't tolerate that
kind of language."
She left her
desk and went into the cattle buyer's office and told him what had happened.
Furious, the
cattle buyer said, "I'll deal with him... He can't talk to you like that
and get away with it."
They both returned
to her desk and the cattle buyer asked the man, "Sir, what seems to be
the problem here?"
"There"s no
damned problem," the man said. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damned
lottery and bought a Helluva big ranch. I need 5,000 head of damned
cattle to stock the damned ranch and I want you to buy the damned things
for me."
”I see," said
the cattle buyer… "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?" |
| A cattle buyer
was in Mexico looking for cattle and stopped at a cantina for refreshment
and dinner. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious-looking
platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the
aroma was wonderful, so he asked the waiter, "What is that you just served
that guy over there?"
The waiter replied,
"Ah, Señor, you have excellent taste! Those are the bull's testicles
from the bullfight.… A delicacy!"
The cattle buyer
said, “Sounds good. Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied,
"I am so sorry, Señor. There is only one serving per day because
there is only one bullfight each day. If you come back tomorrow, we will
save you this delicacy!"
The cattle buyer
returned the next evening and was served the delicacy of the day. After
taking a few bites and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called
the waiter over and said, "These are delicious, but they're a lot smaller
than the ones you served yesterday! Why is that?"
The waiter shrugged
his shoulders and replied, "Si, Señor, sometimes the bull wins". |
| A Mexican bandit
made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing
banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture and an enterprising
bounty hunter decided to track him down.
After a lengthy
search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, sneaked up behind
him, put his pistol to the bandit's head, and said, "Let's keep this simple...
Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit
didn't speak English and the bounty hunter didn't speak Spanish.
A cattle buyer,
who traded cattle on the border, was in the cantina at the time.
He spoke Spanish and offered to translate the bounty hunter's message.
The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried
under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
"What did he
say?" asked the bounty hunter.
The cattle buyer
answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo... You're too stupid to even know
how to pull the trigger.'" |
| About 8:00
in the evening, Bart’s wife sent him to the store to get her some cigarettes.
While there, he ran into an old girlfriend and ended up going to her apartment,
where he spent the next 4 hours.
When Bart finally
realized what time it was, he knew he was in serious trouble. He
asked the woman for some talcum powder and proceeded to rub it all over
his hands and then headed home to face the music.
When he arrived,
his wife was waiting at the door. “Where have you been? I’ve
been out of my mind with worry.”
“I’ve done a
terrible thing,” said Bart. “I met an old girlfriend and I’ve been
unfaithful to you.”
“Don’t lie to
me, Bart!!” shrieked his wife. “Your hands are all covered
with talcum powder. You’ve been down at the bar drinking and shooting
pool.” |
| Jed was supposed
to recieve some cattle in the country and he was running about an hour
late. Trying to make up some time, he had his Lincoln up to 110 when
a policeman pulled him over.
The policeman
said, "Sir, I clocked you at 109 MPH. Is there an emergency?"
"No emergency,
Officer," replied Jed. "I was just going with the traffic."
Incredulous,
the policeman said, "Sir, from right here, we can see over 2 miles down
the road and there's not another car in sight."
"I know," said
Jed... "I was trying to catch up." |
| Bart had been
going hard all fall buying cattle and failed to notice that his drivers
license had expired. He noticed it in December and went down to get
it renewed.
After asking
Bart his name and address, the clerk asked, "Date of birth?"
Bart replied,
"June 24th."
Impatiently,
the clerk asked, "What year?"
Just as impatiently,
Bart responded... "It's on June the 24th every year." |
| A guy was sitting
at a bar visiting with the bartender... "Hey, I heard a good cattle buyer
joke out at the sale barn."
The bartender
said, "Well, before you tell it, I want you to know that I used to be a
cattle buyer. And those two big guys sitting next to you... They were linebackers
on their college football teams and now they're both order buyers. Are
you sure you really want to tell a cattle buyer joke?"
The guy thought
for a second and then said, "I guess not... I wouldn't want to have to
explain it two or three times." |
| After a late
afternoon consultation, a cattle buyer and his accountant went to a nearby
bar for a drink...
The accountant
told the bartender, " I'll have a TC."
The bartender
said, ''What's that ?"
The accountant
said, "You know... a Tom Collins."
The cattle buyer,
wanting to exhibit his sophistication, said, "I'll have a 15."
The bartender,
starting to lose his patience, said, ''What the Hell is that?"
The cattle buyer
said, "You know... Seven & Seven." |
| A cattle buyer
came home late in the afternoon. He sat down in his favorite chair,
turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before
it starts." Looking puzzled, she brought him the beer.
When he finished
it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."
This time she
looked a little angry, but decided to bring him the beer anyway.
When the second
beer was gone, he said, "Quick, one more before it starts."
"That's it!"
she exploded. "You're gone for days on end and I don't hear from
you. You spend most of your time drinking coffee with your cronies
or drinking beer with low-bred women and then you waltz in here, flop down,
don't even say hello to me, and expect me to run around like your slave."
The cattle buyer
muttered, "Damn it... I knew it was going to start." |
A cowboy was
loading his horse into the trailer that was parked next to the road.
A couple from the city were driving by and stopped. After asking
some questions about ranching, the woman asked, "Why do you wear that large
hat?"
The cowboy responded,
"This hat keeps my head warm in the winter and keeps the sun off of my
face in the summer."
Then she asked,
"What are those leather things you have on over your jeans?"
"Chaps," answered
the cowboy, "They protect my legs from the brush that covers a lot
of this area."
The man was
looking at the cowboy's feet and said, "Why, you're wearing Nike's.
I thought real cowboys wore boots."
Gathering all
of his dignity, the cowboy said, "Look, Mister, I'm a cowboy... Not a cattle
buyer." |
| Two cattle
buyers were talking about the upcoming fall run...
"I'm gonna make
some changes this fall," said the first cattle buyer. "Two years ago, I
was only home a few days during October and my wife got pregnant.
Last October, I was home even less and my wife got pregnant again."
"So what are
you gonna change?" asked the second cattle buyer.
"By God, this
year I gonna take my wife with me," said the first cattle buyer. |
| Bart spent
a lot of time on the road buying cattle. After several years of marriage,
he began to suspect his wife was cheating on him. He purposely returned
home a day earlier than his wife expected and stealthily entered the house
and caught her in the arms of her lover.
In rage and
dismay, he pulled out a pistol and put it to his head.
His wife screamed,
"Bart !!! Don't do it. We can work this out."
Bart snarled,
"Shut up... You two are next." |
| A cattle buyer
was rushed to the hospital after being run over by a hit-and-run driver.
A policeman was there to question him after he was treated.
“It was my wife
and mother-in-law who ran me down,” said the cattle buyer.
The policeman
replied, “According to the doctor, you were hit from behind. How
could you tell it was your wife and mother-in-law?”
The cattle buyer
answered… “I recognized their laughs.” |
| A ventriloquist
was hired to entertain at a nightclub and he began with a series of blonde
jokes. After the third blonde joke, a cattle buyer stood up and said,
"I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes. My girlfriend
is blonde and I’m not going to sit here and let you insult her.”
The flustered
ventriloquist began to apologize, but the cattle buyer yelled at him, "You
stay out of this, mister… I'm talking to that little bastard on your
knee!" |
| Tom called
his friend, Bill, and asked him to come over and help him for about an
hour. When Bill got there, Tom told him he wanted Bill's opinion
on what his yearling steers would weigh.
Bill said, "Tom,
you're better at guessing weights than I am... Why do you want my opinion?"
Tom replied,
"Bart was here yesterday and made me a bid on the cattle. But he
insists they're 40 lbs. heavier than what I think they'll weigh."
Bill snorted
and said, "I wouldn't pay much attention to what Bart says... Hell, he
could miss a chicken by 10 lbs. |
| The cattle
buyer's wife was fed up with her husband's drinking and carousing, so she
decided to try to scare him bad enough while he was in a drunken stupor
to make him change his ways. She dressed up like Satan and when her
husband stumbled into the house at 2:30 in the morning, she appeared from
behind the curtains and moved toward him menacingly, making hissing sounds,
and brandishing a pitchfork.
The cattle buyer
calmly looked at Satan and then slobbered, "You don't scare me, you SOB...
I married your sister." |
| On a brisk
fall morning, Bart was receiving cattle. After the last draft was
weighed, Bart and the rancher stepped out of the scale house and heard
the unmistakable sound of geese. They looked to the sky and saw a
group of geese flying south in the classic "V" formation.
The rancher
asked, "Bart, do you know why one side of that "V" is longer than the other?"
Not wanting
to show his ignorance, Bart gazed at the "V" while he considered aerodynamics,
pecking order, etc., but finally had to admit... "No. I guess I don't."
The rancher
said... "Because there's more geese on that side." |
| A cattle buyer
was seated next to an attractive woman on an airplane.
Trying to be
friendly, the cattle buyer said, "Where are you from?"
With a withering
look, the woman said, "From a place where we are sufficiently educated
not to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The cattle buyer
sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "I apologise for my poor
grammar. Let me rephrase my question... Where are you from,
bitch?" |
Jake and Bart
were on their way to look a big string of cattle when they got caught in
a terrible blizzard. In white-out conditions, they pulled into a
ranch headquarters and asked the attractive lady who answered the door
if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's
terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but
I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk
if I let you stay in my house, so maybe it would be better if your stayed
in the bunkhouse.”
“Not a problem,”
said Bart. “The bunkhouse will be fine… If the weather breaks, we’ll
be gone at first light.”
Come morning,
the weather was clear and the cattle buyers got on their way. About nine
months later, Jake received an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took
him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was
from the attorney of that attractive widow that let them stay in her bunkhouse.
He found Bart
at his favorite watering hole and asked, “Do you remember that good-looking
widow that let us stay in her bunkhouse last winter?”
“I sure do,”
replied Bart.
"Did you happen
to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a
visit?" Jake asked.
With growing
concern, Bart answered cautiously, “Yeah, I guess I did.”
"And did you
happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" asked Jake.
Looking like
a deer caught in the headlights, Bart mumbled, “I guess I did that, too.
Is there a problem?”
“No problem,”
laughed Jake. “She just died… And left me everything.” |
| The cattle
buyer had to be out of town for several days receiving cattle. In the evenings,
he frequented the local night spots and his last evening away from home,
he struck up a friendship with a young lady that resulted in their driving
to his motel and spending the night together.
The cattle buyer
got home late the next afternoon, and feeling guilty, offered to take his
wife out to dinner. As they were driving to the restaurant, he spotted
a high-heeled shoe protruding from under the passenger seat. Using the
discipline learned from years of high-pressure cattle trading, he fought
back the panic he was feeling and came up with a plan. He proceeded
to distract his wife by pointing to something out the passenger window.
While she was looking, in one fluid movement that was as quick as a snake
and as silent as a hawk in flight, he snatched up the shoe and deftly tossed
it out his window.
They arrived
at the restaurant a short time later and were about to get out of the car
when his wife asked...
"Honey, have
you seen my other shoe?" |
| The rancher
stormed into the bar, ordered a double shot, and slammed it down.
The bartender
said, "Tom, you okay?"
The rancher
replied, "I guess so. I'm just mad. The cattle buyer I sold
my cattle to just got to me. If the market wasn't down, I would've
run him off the place. You can't trust a cattle buyer any more than
a lawyer."
A man at the
end of the bar stood up and said, "I resent that statement."
The bartender
asked, "You a cattle buyer?"
Indignantly,
the man said, "NO... I'm a lawyer." |
A cattle buyer
was cruising down the Interstate at 90 MPH. He noticed in his rear
view mirror that a police cruiser, with red lights flashing, was rapidly
gaining on him. The cattle buyer floor-boarded his Lincoln and led
the trooper on a 20 mile chase at speeds exceeding 120 MPH. The trooper
radioed ahead for a road block to stop the fleeing car.
Seeing the roadblock
ahead and realizing the chase was over, the cattle buyer came to a stop.
His car was surrounded by law enforment officers with guns drawn and he
was removed from the car and handcuffed.
"Sir", the trooper
said, "You're in serious trouble. Is there a reason why you refused
to stop?"
The cattle buyer
said, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you might
be him... And wanted to give her back." |
| A cattle buyer
applied for life insurance and the agent was completing the medical history
portion of the application...
The agent inquired,
"Ever have an accident?"
The cattle
buyer answered, "Nope."
"Not even one?"
asked the agent incredulously.
"Nope," the
cattle buyer insisted.
The agent said,
"I see a scar on your right hand. How did that happen?"
The cattle
buyer responded, "I was in an old scale house weighing some cattle and
a rattlesnake bit me."
"And you don't
call that an accident?" said the agent.
The cattle
buyer answered, "Hell No... That damned snake bit me on purpose." |
| A guy heard
that a local cattle buyer had a blue heeler for sale that could talk.
Intrigued, he drove to the cattle buyer's house to investigate. He
was met at the yard gate by a blue heeler that said, "Howdy."
Astonished,
the guy replied, "It's true... You can talk. Tell me about yourself."
The blue heeler
said, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted
to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time
they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies
and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting
around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and
I wanted to settle down. So I took a job with the cattle buyer working
cattle, got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The cattle buyer
came out as the dog was telling his story. When the dog finished,
the guy asked the cattle buyer what the dog was worth.
The cattle buyer
said, "I'll be lucky if I can get $10 for him."
The guy said,
"This dog is amazing. Why on earth do you think he's only worth $10?"
The cattle buyer
replied, "Because the dog is a damned liar. Just like now... He never
worked for the CIA." |
| The cattle
buyer bought a little place to run a few cattle and horses, but mostly
to have a place to get away on weekends. For that reason, the place
was 50 miles from the nearest town and 7 miles from the nearest neighbor.
One Saturday morning as he was driving around checking on things, he met
his neighbor on the fence line. They introduced themselves and visited
for a while.
As the neighbor
was preparing to leave, he told the cattle buyer, "I'm having a little
party at my place tonight. I'd be pleased if you would come."
The cattle buyer said he would be there.
Then the neighbor
said, "I guess I need to warn you. There will be drugs, alcohol,
and kinky sex. Will that offend you?"
The cattle buyer
said, "No, I don't think so. I've been around. By the way,
how should I dress for this party?"
His neighbor
replied, "Dress casual... It's just gonna be you and me." |
| Three cattle
buyers were killed in an auto accident and showed up at the Pearly Gates.
The angel on duty took one look at them and said, "Wait here. I'll
be right back."
The angel went
to St. Peter's office and told him, "There's three cattle buyers at the
Pearly Gates and I don't like the looks of them. They must be here
by mistake."
In an admonishing
tone, St. Peter said, "You know better than to judge people by their looks.
Bring the cattle buyers to my office."
The angel returned
in a few minutes by himself. St. Peter said, "Where are the cattle
buyers?"
The angel replied,
"They're gone." Astonished, St. Peter said, "The cattle buyers are
gone?"
Yes, your Holiness...
And so are the Pearly Gates!" |
| A cattle buyer
and an attorney were sitting next to each other at a bar. They were
having a beer and watching the 6 o'clock news. The top story was
about a man threatening to jump from a bridge.
The attorney
said to the cattle buyer, "I'll bet you $50 that guy jumps."
The cattle
buyer replied, "Okay, you're on."
Sure enough,
the man jumped and the cattle buyer tossed $50 onto the bar in front of
the attorney.
The attorney
looked at the money and said, "I can't take your money. I watched
the 5 o'clock news at my office and they ran this story."
The cattle buyer
said, "Hell No... Take it. Fair's fair. I watched the 5 o'clock
news here, but I sure didn't think that damned fool would jump again." |
A cattle buyer's
barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.
She told the
agent, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, so I'll be by to pick
up the check."
The agent replied,
"Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that.
We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a
new one of comparable worth."
There was a
long pause before Susan replied... "Then I'd like to cancel the life insurance
policy on my husband." |
The cattle
buyer drove over 50,000 miles per year, but the only time he spent in cities
was on the Interstate as he was passing through. When his son was
6, his wife insisted they go to the "City" to do some Christmas shopping.
At a mall, the cattle buyer and his son were amazed by two shiny, silver
walls that could move apart and back together again.
The little boy
asked his father, "What is that, Dad?"
The cattle buyer,
never having seen an elevator, responded, "Son, I don't know what it is."
While they were
watching, an old lady with a cane slowly walked up to the moving walls
and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them
and into a small room. The walls closed and small circles of light, with
numbers, lighted up above the wall. They continued to watch the circles
light-up in the reverse direction, and then the walls opened up again and
a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.
The cattle buyer
said... "Son, go get your mother." |
| The cattle
buyer received a DUI citation for drinking and driving and part of the
sentence was having to take an alcohol awareness class. At the first class,
the instructor wanted to exhibit the toxic nature of liquor, so he produced
a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Observe," he
told his class as he put a worm in the glass of water. The worm swam about
freely and looked as happy as can be. He then put the second worm in the
glass of whiskey and it to swam about for a moment, but then went into
convulsions, and shortly sank to the bottom of the glass... Dead.
"Now," the instructor
asked the class, "What lesson can we learn from this experiment?"
"That's easy,"
replied the cattle buyer... "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!" |
A cattle buyer
was scheduled to be out of town for several days but the deal fell through.
That night, he and his wife went to bed about 10:30 and the phone rang
at midnight.
The cattle buyer
rolled over and answered... "Hello?" "What?" "How the hell should I know…
I live in Amarillo."
He hung up and
told his wife, who was doing her best not to appear nervous… “What
an idiot… Damned fool wanted to know if the coast was clear!" |
At 3:00 A.M.,
an obviously inebriated cattle buyer called the motel front desk and asked
what time the bar opens.
"It opens at
noon," answered the clerk.
About an hour
later, the cattle buyer called again, sounding even drunker. "What time
does the bar open?" he asked.
"Same time
as before... Noon," replied the clerk.
Another hour
passed and the cattle buyer called again and slobbered, "What time joo
shay the bar opens?"
The clerk then
answered, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service
send something up to you."
"No!! I don't
wanna git in... I wanna git OUT!!!" |
An unemployed
cattle buyer was in the welfare office to see if he could get an extension
on his jobless benefits. He told his caseworker, “There hasn't been a day
go by in the last 3 months that I haven’t been out looking for a job.”
The caseworker
replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just received a job listing from
a very wealthy man who needs a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter.
You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts,
and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will
also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady
on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
After a brief
moment of elation, reality sunk in and the cattle buyer said, "I think
you’re feeding me a line of bull."
The caseworker
said… "Well, you started it." |
| A cattle buyer
went into an auto repair shop and told the parts manager that he'd lost
the "seven-hundred-ten" on his Lincoln and needed a new one.
The man said,
"I'm sorry, Sir, but I'm not familiar with a part called a 710. What
does it do?"
Incredulous,
the cattle buyer said, "Hell, I don't know, but every engine has one.
You'd think a parts manager would know that."
The man took
the cattle buyer into the shop, raised the hood on a car, and asked the
cattle buyer to show him the 710.
The cattle buyer
pointed and said, "Just like I told you... It's right there." |
A cattle buyer
and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. A waitress,
taking an order at a nearby table, noticed the cattle buyer was slowly
sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
Amazed, the
waitress watched as the cattle buyer, slithering like a snake, slid all
the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the
woman appeared unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress
finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman,
"Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman replied
firmly, "No he didn't… My husband just walked in the door." |
A successful
businessman’s daughter married a cattle buyer and the father had a meeting
with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you
into the family," said the man. "To show how much we care for you,
I've made you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go
to the factory every day and learn the operations."
The cattle buyer
interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."
"I see," replied
the father-in-law. "Well, then you can work in the office and take
charge of some of the operations."
"I hate office
work," said the cattle buyer. "I can't stand being stuck behind a
desk all day."
"Wait a minute,"
said the father-in-law. "I just gave you half interest in a profitable
business, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office.
What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said
the cattle buyer… "Buy me out." |
A doctor, a
lawyer and a cattle buyer were using the restroom in a restaurant...
The doctor finished,
washed his hands all the way up to his elbows, and then used about 10 paper
towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented,
"I graduated from the University of Michigan and we were taught the importance
of cleanliness."
The lawyer finished,
quickly wet his fingers, and then used the blow dryer mounted on the wall.
"I graduated from Harvard and we were taught to conserve resources and
to be environmentally conscious."
The cattle buyer
finished and as he was walking out the door, he said… "I went to
the University of Wyoming and all of its graduates know how to use the
restroom without getting it on their hands." |
| A cattle buyer's
wife woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their
bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.
She went downstairs
and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she
could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her
husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing.
"What's wrong
with you?" she asked him.
"Remember when
your father caught us together when you were only 16?" the cattle buyer
replied. "And remember he said I had two choices... I could either marry
you or spend the next 20 years in prison."
Baffled, she
said, "Yes, I remember. So?"
"I would have
gotten out yesterday." |
| A reporter
was at a cattle auction getting background material for a feature on the
cattle industry. She noticed a buyer furiously bidding on the cattle
in the ring and was struck by his appearance... Although he was now slightly
bent and frail, she could tell he had once been a vibrant and powerful
man. The lines on his face showed decades of being in a tough business.
She sat down beside him, introduced herself, and explained what she was
doing.
"How long have
you been buying cattle?" she asked.
"For years,
in fact, most of my life," responded the cattle buyer.
"What's been
the secret of your longevity?" she inquired.
"Living my life
my way... I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said.
"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and the only exercise
I get is from chasing wild women."
"That's amazing,"
the reporter said. "How old are you?"
The cattle buyer
answered... "I'll be 27 next month." |
| "Did you follow
my wife?" the cattle buyer asked the private detective he had hired.
"Yes Sir, I
did. I followed her to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant, and then
to a motel."
A big smile
crossed the cattle buyer's face. "I've got her!" he said. "So there's no
doubt what she was doing?"
"No Sir," replied
the detective... "It's pretty clear that she was following you." |
|
